Never Neverland Or So We Thought
by Raine Lionheart
Summary: Never Neverland as an anarchist's paradise. It's a parody, so take no offense with it. I don't take flames lightly. Fairly old story.


I was pissed drunk when I wrote this. It took 15 minutes, so w/e. LMAO. I watched Hook and got some whacked Ideas. So e-mail me or review for more!

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Never Neverland… So We Thought

For some reason, Never Neverland was not the way people had thought that it would be. No, so when Alan Halbren found himself there one day, he knew that the author was obviously not an adult writer.

Alan was pothead, a bad boy, from London. He had a loving family, friends, a decent school average…

So when he was sleeping one night, he was startled to hear a noise at his window. He awoke and glanced towards the noise.

A boy, maybe a year older than he, was hovering inches from his window.

Alan started. The boy beckoned him to open the window. For a moment, Alan did nothing. The boy beckoned again, so Alan stood and somewhat clumsily opened the window. The boy grinned and hovered in. He touched down and bowed slightly.

"Thank you dear boy."

Alan was silent. Then, he said, "Are you… Peter Pan?"

The boy laughed, "Pan? ME? Puh-leeze. I'd die if I were him."

The boy noticed the quizzical look on Alan's face and laughed again. "Pan is a dumbass, let's leave it at that."

He stuck his hand out. "I'm Blaine. A "lost boy", as the legend calls us. From Never Neverland.

Alan shook the hand. "Alan."

Blaine rolled his eyes, "Jeez, please change it when you get to the island."

Alan's eyebrows raised, "Island?"

Again, Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Just start flying man."

"How?"

"You know how you think "happy thoughts"? Well, think of your "happy thoughts"." He grinned, "Mine's of being laid by Fox, smoking pot and drinking some Bacardi."

Alan laughed. Hmmm… he could do that too…

He pictured the hottest girl in his school, Laura Kalmour. He smiled ad licked his lips. A bulge in his pants became apparent as he imagined screwing her. He felt like her was walking on air… which he was.

He glanced down and saw that he was not touching the ground.

Blaine grinned widely again. "Let's go. Follow me and don't look down."

Blaine ran and jumped out the window. He flew with great grace. Alan made sure that he knew what he was doing and followed the suit.

He soon found himself flying over Big Ben. The clock read four AM. Fuck it, he thought.

When they reached Never Neverland, Alan had a name selected for himself. He saw Blaine start a descent, so he fell as well.

Blaine landed on the ground, in a field of green plants. Alan stood beside him and looked around. He inhaled and smiled.

Marijuana, all around him.

"C'mon," Blaine ordered, "this way."

They walked for several minutes until they came upon a small clearing. Alan watched Blaine fly upwards onto a platform. He jumped and did the same.

Alan followed his new friend into a doorway into a cavern.

Inside was paradise.

The place had been furnished. A couch, many chairs, two fridges and tables were spread out in the cave.

People were sitting in various places. Beautiful girls sat with guys, all smoking pot or drinking beer, or whatever alcohol it was.

Most noticeably, a throne like chair was in the back area of the room. A guy around Alan's age, extremely muscular and attractive, sat smoking and drinking. A girl sat beside him while he felt her up.

"Condor, I got a newbie!" Blaine yelled.

Condor, the "king", looked up. He grinned when he saw Alan.

"Ah, welcome to Never Neverland. I'm Condor, the Lost Boys' leader. Who are you?"

"Alan."

Condor frowned, "No, your new name."

"Oh, Draico."

"Well," Condor said with a smile, "welcome Draico, to paradise."

Immediately, four girls came over to him to check him out.

The one he noticed he most wore the skimpiest outfit. Cloth that barely covered her medium breasts and a tight thong. She had emerald green eyes and copper red hair. She smiled seductively and pulled him into a long, passionate kiss.

When she released, she said, "I'm Bladen. And I think that you and I could be friends…" she tapped his manhood with one finger. He smiled back.

Blaine came back over to him and gave him a can of beer. He cracked it open and drank it. Then, Blaine gave him a joint. Alan had smoked before, so he accepted it and took a long drag.

Condor approached him and said, "You like Bladen? She's yours."

"Mine?" Alan asked.

"Yeah. Draico, we're free here. No on gets STD or pregnant. No one dies… we live for whatever we want!"

He grinned an evil grin, "And we kill pirates."

Alan nodded.

"I think that I'll like it here…"

That night, Draico was escorted to his "apartment", a nice cavern. Not as big as Condor's, but still nice.

The most prominent items in the cave were the bed (which was huge), the fridge, and the weaponry. Swords and guns were strewn all over.

He lay on the bed and wondered about this place. It was amazing!

Suddenly, Bladen interrupted him as she walked into the room. She smiled at him in that seductive manner again.

She crawled onto the bed beside him.

"So, you want me huh?"

He nodded.

So, that night, she gave him the first pleasure he ever received from a woman.

And he decided, this ain't too bad…

And that's how Never Neverland is so different that what you think its like.


End file.
